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   Submitted by Bruce and Bronwyn Calton

 Photo Album

Bronwyn and I woke at 'sparrow fart' to make the journey to Strathalbyn on what I thought was a well packed Guzzi!

On arriving at Strath, very pleased that I had made it with time to spare, I gently parked my baby on the side stand and turned around to chat with the ‘Poms’ (Dave and Louise), well bugger me, she fell over on her off side. No NOT Bronwyn … me beloved bike! A good sized crack had appeared in the Givi pannier and a dent on the right-hand spotlight. I figured that I had spent our weekend monetary allocation in one fell swoop!

After a natter and a welcome coffee, we were off. It was good to see Warren the Fairy … oops sorry … Warren AND the Fairy come to make sure we departed their territory. One must be Crazy to ride with a Fairy. I think she had her wings clipped because we didn’t see her again. We were lucky to all pile on the Fairy – sorry Ferry – at Wellington and after a push start for a member and a dodgy Guzzi ignition switch, continued without embarrassment to Meningie then Kingston for a bite of lunch.

After arriving at Robe and queuing for what seemed an eternity, we made an erection next to ‘Vespa Boy’ Pau’s site. We had fun for the rest of the afternoon ‘hell-raising’ the sleepy town of Robe.

For tea, we thoroughly enjoyed being ’Grots’ and hoed into a scrumptious feed of venison - don’t ask about ‘road kill’, although ‘How’s Your Father’ on his VW-powered Roo looked down in the back – chops, ‘mystery bags’, salad, bread and butter, all washed down with copious amounts of wine, beer and Crazee’s never-ending bottle of ‘Birthday Bourbon’! Bronwyn and I crashed at 10pm and awoke the next day to hear the whole Caravan Park talking of some people or persons being ‘disgraceful’ – what did they expect? – and that the Park Manager had to put them and the guitar to bead at 10:30pm!

Sunday – new day, new idea. Grot’s planned a rebel-raising trip to Penola via Beachport. Rumour has it someone tried to get to Penola via dirt! We drifted into Penola in plenty of time to see a parade of Mt Gambier-based classic cars and bikes through the main street. These vehicles were drooled over at the local oval after a feed and a stroll through the town. When filling her up and getting ready for the return slog, Millie the Guzzi had a baby! It was a bright red Guzzi Monza with Elaine from Millicent on the controls. Elaine chased us all the way back to Robe. I didn’t know Triumphs could actually go that fast and I’m convinced that Louise was having an orgasm at full revs as this huge smile cruised by us.

Sunday evening we terrorised the beach front hotel, even though they stuck us out the back. The meal was very promptly served to us all. After devouring the tasty meal, we used the excuse of wishing a couple of ‘old farts’ happy birthday to send down a few more ales. Back at the camp for Sunday ‘night caps’, we rallied around one Crazee old fart. One of Crazee’s sidekicks found out that Dave and Louise – now to be called ‘Deli-Lama’ – have a few Alpacas on their ranch. Not only did he want to know their – the Alpaca’s not Dave’s – call sign, but wanted to know if they had any old stock … without teeth! How does that call sign go again Louise? This unmentionable sidekick was on a mission as he wooed a couple of ‘chicky babes’ (Louise and Bronwyn) to sit all night on his pillow giggling, etc as they do! I noticed him in the morning with a big smile, but wee-zing!

The finale of Sunday night was a let down because the more noise we made trying to bait the Park Manager into putting us to bed, the further away he stayed. We did see him skulking around the BBQ area with his mistress and even had the cameras with the last picture ready, all to no avail. I guess he was just plain scared of us as we disgraced ourselves.

A special thanks must go to Grot for arranging what indeed turned out to be a very enjoyable weekend. Once again Kaz and hubby (Strech) did more than their bit sweating all over our venison, chops and ‘mystery bags’, making them change colour on the barbie. At least we got home unscathed and praying that no ‘blueys’ follow us.

Stay Upright!
Bruce and Bronwyn Calton